Experts at NASA sent shockwaves around the world today as evidence emerged that Mars was “more habitable” than previously thought.
Scientists from the NASA Curiosity project said that the discovery of running water on the planet was the first sign that gentrification was taking place, and that the planet was now “coming on in leaps and bounds as a neighbourhood”.
“Our research shows that running water is quickly followed by breathable oxygen, which then allows young creative professionals to move in and open coffee bars and independent grocers,” said a NASA spokesperson on Monday night.
“We now expect people to soon revise their opinions of moving to Mars, especially given current London house prices. With average rents in many areas well over £1,500, the 9-month commute to Earth starts to sound quite reasonable,” said a representative of London estate agent Foxtons, who are rumoured to be considering setting up an office on the red planet.
Not everyone is happy about the planet’s improving environment, however. Members of the controversial Mars One colonisation mission have been quick to express their concern: “With gentrification taking hold on Mars, we’re worried that we’ll be priced out of the market before our first capsule even arrives on the planet. We may have to downsize or take in a lodger.”
Daniel Pashley freelance journalist 